Recently I was talking to a friend and shared, “I knew being an adult would be hard, but I don’t think I realized it would be this hard.” She agreed, “That’s exactly how I’ve been feeling. I have never missed our 20s or 30s more. Or even high school!”
Why are we, and others in our age group, feeling this way? We are in the middle of the “sandwich generation” trying to care for our young children and our aging parents.
My friends and I have had numerous conversations about our stress trying to balance the needs of our young children, spouses, and careers while dealing with the myriad of issues with our aging parents- some medical (cancer, Alzheimer’s, dementia, heart problems, etc.), and some not (managing the aftermath of scams, scheduling and attending doctor’s appointments, taking over finances, and trying to convince our parents to get the medical attention they need, just to name a few).
The strain of balancing all of these roles can often be overwhelming and take an emotional and mental toll. It may feel impossible to fulfill the role of spouse, parent, and child while managing other responsibilities. As a caregiver, you may be so focused on your loved one that you don’t see how caregiving affects your own health and well-being.
According to the Mayo Clinic, the signs of caregiver stress and burnout include:
- Feeling burdened or worrying all the time.
- Feeling tired often.
- Sleeping too much or not enough.
- Gaining or losing weight.
- Becoming easily irked or angry.
- Losing interest in activities you used to enjoy.
- Feeling sad.
- Having frequent headaches or other pains or health problems.
- Misusing alcohol or drugs, including prescription medicines.
- Missing your own medical appointments.
Managing Caregiver Burnout and Role Strain:
The emotional and physical demands of caregiving can strain even the strongest person. There are a number of resources and tools available to help caregivers care for their loved ones and themselves. Remember, it’s important to take care of yourself in order to have the strength to care for others.
What would your therapist say to help manage caregiver stress:
- Ask for and accept help. Make a list of ways in which others can help you. Then let them choose how to help. Ideas include taking regular walks with the person you care for, cooking a meal for you and helping with medical appointments.
- Focus on what you can do. At times, you might feel like you’re not doing enough. No one is the perfect caregiver. Remember, you are doing the best you can.
- Set goals you can reach. Break large tasks into smaller steps that you can do one at a time. Make lists of what’s most important. Follow a daily routine. Say no to requests that are draining, such as hosting meals for holidays or other occasions.
- Get connected. Learn about caregiving resources in your area. There might be classes you can take. You might find caregiving services such as rides, meal delivery or house cleaning.
- Seek social support. Stay connected to family and friends who support you. Make time each week to visit with someone, even if it’s just a walk or a quick cup of coffee. Joining a support group can also be a good way to connect with others who understand what you are going through.
- Take care of your health. Find ways to sleep better. Many caregivers have trouble sleeping and good sleep is important for good health. Move your body in enjoyable ways most days. Eat three meals a day and drink plenty of water.
- See a Therapist! Here at Intuitive Counseling we often work with people who are experiencing caregiver stress and burnout.
You aren’t alone! Our therapists can support you as you navigate the challenges that come with the caregiver role. Reach out to us to schedule an appointment today!
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