Connecting with you, our clients, to help achieve your therapeutic goals is our primary focus at Intuitive Counseling. All combined, our team has decades of experience working in the mental health field in an array of settings. Our relationship with our clients is a unique dynamic that often is not understood by those who are new or unfamiliar with how therapy works.
There is a great book called Maybe You Should Talk to Someone by Lori Gottleib that is a great narrative about a therapist who shares her own experiences treating clients and receiving treatment of her own. She sheds light on some of the nuances of the therapeutic relationship between therapist and client in a raw and vulnerable way. Check it out if you’re interested in hearing and learning more about it.
So, what the heck do therapists do to help people?
Mostly, gone are the days of pure psychoanalysis as the option for therapy. Sigmund Freud is famous for being the father of psychoanalysis, and while this technique is still alive and well, it is not what most therapists are doing to help alleviate the symptoms brought into our offices. The image of a patient lying on a couch with the therapist sitting to the client’s side while providing little feedback, discussion, and connection are actually the complete opposite for what is found to be most effective in building a therapeutic relationship that produces results for the client.
Here is what your therapist will tell you are the top 5 key things to building a strong therapeutic relationship, which will, in-turn, help you achieve your goals.
Professionalism
Ensuring that the client feels safe and secure from the first point of contact is key to having a successful start. A welcoming office environment, thorough and complete hipaa compliant paperwork and telehealth portals, clear and concise communication, as well as quick response times ensures that this investment if your mental health is taken seriously. Your time is valuable as is your therapist’s so feeling as if you are being taken care of out the gate is step one. If this first step is shaky, then getting to number 2 – rapport building, will be even harder.
Rapport Building
Therapists are human and showing vulnerability with clients has been on the trend over the last decade in the psychotherapy space. Fostering collaboration, flexibility, receiving feedback (in both directions) and pivoting when agreed upon, are all factors that influence a strong rapport building. Helping the client feel that they have a mutual seat in the room and it is not a hierarchy with the therapist “in charge.”
Responsiveness and Feedback
Knowing and trusting that you can share how you’re truly feeling with your therapist and not being met with defensiveness is crucial. Empathy and compassion are key components provided by therapists to help create this energy in the relationship. Additionally, client feedback on how they feel the sessions are going and how they feel from session-to-session can provide an appropriate time to reconsider goals, techniques, and pace of sessions. Coming from a place of curiosity helps to diffuse strong emotional reactions and creates safety for everyone in the therapeutic space.
Rupture Repair & Difficult Emotions
No doubt, we all have had an array of difficult relationship challenges. This too can happen in a therapeutic relationship. If a client and therapist can name and then discuss what the challenges they are experiencing, repairing and moving forward can be some of the best therapeutic work someone ever does. Often we are not modeled healthy and effective rupture and repair techniques in our lives, so living this experience in session with a therapist can feel scary, but know a seasoned therapist is a great resource to practice this with.
Fostering Healthy Endings
Having a mutual discussion at the beginning can help ease this topic from the start. The issues brought up at the start of therapy can help to inform the length of therapy. Having the therapist, from time to time, check in with the client on “how things are going” will help make the topic of endings feel more comfortable. The therapist will often reflect back on the progress made and what the client has shared to show evidence of that.
At the end of the day, if you feel the therapeutic relationship isn’t working out, bring it up in session! We always want to know if there is something bothering you and hope to work through so you can continue on your path to your therapeutic goals.
Resources
apa.org/monitor/2019/11/ce-corner-relationships
Developing the Therapeutic Relationship: Integrating Case Studies, Research, and Practice
Tishby, O., & Wiseman, H. (Eds.) APA, 2018
Psychotherapy Relationships That Work
Norcross, J.C., & Lambert, M.J. Psychotherapy, 2018 [introduction to special issue]
Psychotherapy Relationships That Work: Vol. 1. Evidence-Based Therapist Contributions
(3rd ed.) Norcross, J.C., & Lambert, M.J. (Eds.) Oxford, 2019
Psychotherapy Relationships That Work: Vol. 2. Evidence-Based Therapist Responsiveness
(3rd ed.), Norcross, J.C., & Wampold, B.E. (Eds.) Oxford, 2019